


School Days

by Snorp_Lord



Series: Actors AU [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Break Up, Implied/Referenced Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Prequel, They talk about maybe doing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22417225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snorp_Lord/pseuds/Snorp_Lord
Summary: How Jackie and Anti broke up back in college.
Relationships: Antisepticeye/JackieboyMan, Referenced Antisepticeye/Sean McLoughlin, Sean McLoughlin/Sean McLoughlin
Series: Actors AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555768
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	School Days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tiili97](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiili97/gifts).



> Fun fact: This was going to be smut.

“Anti, are you sure about this? We’ve never really done this, I don’t wanna push you this early…” Jackie didn’t pull over yet, but he was still a little worried, and he glanced over once they were stopped at a traffic light. The two of them were only together for six months. Some people waited until marriage. But over the past week or so, Anti had  _ insisted  _ that he was ready, that he wanted this, and that if Jackie didn’t get to it and stop being so...considerate (?) and hesitant, he was going to get pretty pissed. 

Anti growled at him in response. “Just stop asking already! What are you so fucking afraid of? Aren’t you the fuckboy in this? I should be shoving you off with a fucking broom or something.”

“Well...that’s kind of what I’m afraid of.” The growl cut off, Anti clearly not having expected that. “You know, I’ve kinda got a reputation. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this. Or like I’ll love you any less if you don’t wanna have sex tonight. But I need you to be honest about it, okay?”

A second of silence passed as Jackie started the car again. Then: “You absolute dork. I’m supposed to be mad at you. Stop being fucking cute.” It was like hanging out with Sean all over again. Giggling, Anti leaned over to ruffle his hair. “I know you’re all noble and shit, but seriously. You don’t have to ask every five seconds. I just need to get past this. First time with any guy’s always pretty meh, right?”

“My first time with my last guy was. He had like...no idea what he was doing. He couldn’t even get me off in the end. I gave up and we just ended up using our hands to get it over with. Luckily, you are dealing with a certified expert in the delicate art of doing people~” 

“...Okay, I just  _ know _ you weren’t trying to flirt there. You just told me about your dumbass ex! What a turnoff! You can’t seriously think that kinda shit works! You tell all your fuckbuddies about that?” 

Jackie blushed a bit. “I don’t really tell most people a lot about me. People don’t need to hear my whole life story.” Something about the punk just...made him want to talk. Made him want to share things that he didn’t tell most people. There was also the fact that Anti had a unique physical appeal the redhead didn’t find in anyone else. He had that slim, slightly muscular build Jackie had yet to see in anyone else. Was it the drumming? Anti certainly seemed like the type to throw himself into it. Especially since he knew the school had been forced to replace quite a few drum skins after Anti’s rehearsals. “You’re really easy to talk to…”

When he glanced over, the other was blushing a soft red, only made more visible by his porcelain-pale skin. He thought Anti was easy to talk to? What about his cousin? “W- So what, I’m free therapy?” Even for Anti that was a clear attempt to seem upset. So cute…

“No, no, it’s like- I wanna tell you stuff! I wanna learn stuff about you. That sounds...so weird and cheesy saying it out loud, but it’s kinda why I wanna...Why I wanna fuck you and stuff. But do it right? Make it special and all that.”

“So let’s get to it. Fuck me. I’m ready.” And he’d been waiting for way too long now. Anti didn’t care if he got fucked right in the bathrooms at some sleazy bar, he just wanted Jackie to hurry up and stop letting him overthink it, before his nerves got the better of him and he decided to do something stupid. Hopping out of the car had crossed his mind at every stop. Running home also seemed like a very good option. Anything to avoid embarrassing himself, and perhaps preserve what little good reputation he had with Jackie. The guy was a total jock, but still went for him, and the fear of messing it all up made him even more nervous about the weird hesitance. Why was Sean popping into his head so much?

Jackie glanced over at him and silently nodded. “You gotta tell me what’s up, though, yeah? If you’re not feeling okay, or if you change your mind, or anything. I really really worry about hurting you.” 

“I’m not weak or anything. I know I’m skinny, but-”   
  
“No, like...I don’t wanna hurt this,” Jackie explained, placing his hand over Anti’s heart so gently that the shorter was sure he might keel over and melt if the jock didn’t just stop being so damn cute. Still, Anti shoved him away, trying to hide his blush. “Your heart’s important to me. And I wanna take care of it. You deserve that.”

“...Do I?” The idea of it made him a little confused, in all honesty. Was that what people thought? Really? Nobody else seemed to think that, not in Anti’s experience, and more of them seemed concerned about taking care of their own reputation by getting him on his knees. It was still hard to believe that Jackie liked him, and that he liked him  _ enough  _ to put up with all of his bullshit, comforting him, waiting on the stuff that most teenagers couldn’t wait to jump into. Maybe it was how he was, but Anti was less concerned with why it was happening, and more concerned with how the fuck he was supposed to handle someone that cute.

Immediately Jackie took his hand, pulling it into his. He was so warm. “Yes. You deserve so much and nobody gives it to you, you know? So if anything, that makes it more important! I gotta make up for all the dumb people who don’t see you as amazingly as I do! Okay? So, I’m totally being selfish here, and I want my beautiful baby boy to know how much I love him, so I can see that cute blush he’s doing that he tries to cover up.”

Anti immediately dropped his hands down to his lap. “Let’s...Let’s just get inside, okay? I can’t take...I can’t deal with this. You’re so fucking cute. Stop talking.”

“Alright, alright. We’re here, by the way. This is my place.” Oh God. Even with all his experience, Anti found that his stomach was swooping and tying itself up in knots, leaving him with an off-kilter nausea that nothing else had ever quite compared to. What would Sean do? Joke, maybe. Lighten the mood. “I hope I remembered to clean up this morning. Be a big turn-off if you see my gross underwear or some old pizza boxes.”   
  
“Making me think of it isn’t a whole lot better,” Anti mumbled. “You’re lucky you’re so hot. Nobody would sleep with you if they saw your apartment. And no, you don’t need to tell me how many people like it. I’m sure there’s one weirdo that likes it. Doesn’t make them right.”

They both giggled, thankfully, and a little of the knot in Anti’s stomach loosened. “Yeah, ya got me. Now then…” Jackie stepped closer and hooked his arms around the shorter, pulling him in closer by his waist, lips trailing over his pale neck. “You ready for this?”

He was, right?

They were planning this for weeks.

It wasn’t like he was going to ruin everything just because Jackie had asked him a question.

He loved Jackie, and he could push past the nerves, couldn’t he?   
  


Noting the silence, Jackie paused, moving his head from Anti’s neck so he could look him in the eyes. “Anti, you’re scaring me here. Is something up? I can slow down.”

“...I can’t stop thinking about Sean. Every couple minutes. Especially when I think about what we’re gonna be doing. I...I don’t know why.”

There was definitely some kind of change. The air felt heavy, almost like syrup, but Anti still tried to keep his breathing shallow and even, scared that if he made too much noise something awful might happen. Say something, dammit, say something-

“Yeah, I figured.” 

“Wait, what?!” His head snapped up, to see the tiny smile on Jackie’s face. That smile aged him. Sadness just didn’t suit Jackie’s bright eyes, and Anti felt even worse for being the one to put it there. “You knew? W-Wait, what did you know, I didn’t cheat, okay? I’d never do that to you!” 

“I know, I know, don’t freak out!” Jackie’s hands fell away. Couldn’t even stand to hold him, scrap metal, hurting Jackie just because he was  _ there,  _ he hadn’t even done anything, he was just too sweet to let go earlier when Anti had first started leaving those cuts on his hands. “I...look, I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I’m not dumb. And I see the way you two look at each other. It’s sweet. You’re always in a better mood when you see him, right? You talk more when you two are talking about stuff. And it’s great, really! I know you two are gonna be great together. You make each other better.”

Was...Was he crying? Oh no, no, no. “J-Jackie…” Before he could really comfort Jackie, the other was talking again. “Y-You two would be really great together, okay? And...I want you both to be happy. Sean’s family, and you are- you  _ were _ my boyfriend. I love you both.”

“We’re breaking up?” Part of him, the tiniest, desperate and starving part, was already screaming, and he felt himself latch onto Jackie, grabbing his hoodie, refusing to let go. “No, no, this can’t be happening, Jackie please, you have to be joking!” He couldn’t lose this. Jackie was so perfect, maybe too good for him, but every selfish fibre of his being wanted him to stay. “Don’t go...I...I don’t want you to get hurt, I’m so sorry…”

“Anti. Anti, it’s okay. I promise. I’m okay. Or...I will be. Gimmie some time. I think...maybe we shouldn’t sleep here tonight. I’ll, uh...I think I’ll crash at someone else’s tonight.” Jackie sighed, wiping his eyes, and hugged Anti one more time. “I’m sorry. This hurts like hell, but, hey...school relationships don’t usually last anyway, huh? So...So don’t beat yourself up, okay? I know you’re gonna if I don’t say that. I just...need some time.”

He finally moved away, not even struggling with Anti’s death grip on his shirt. “I love you, Anti. So much.” 

And Jackie left without another word.


End file.
